We are continually humbled by the caregivers who trust us with their stories. Today, we want to introduce you to Cory, one of our grant recipients and a devoted husband and father; whose journey caring for his wife, Heather, is a powerful reflection of what so many male caregivers experience.
Before cancer entered their lives, Cory and Heather had a clear path in raising a family and when their son was born, they decided Heather would stay home with the kids. She was, after all, a full-time nanny for 17 years, so her role as a mother was both personal and professional. Cory, in turn, became the sole financial provider.
Cory works in a demanding industry as a Special Effects & Pyrotechnics Foreman with IATSE Local 52, supporting major television and film productions. His days were long, often 14 to 16 hours, and unpredictable. But today, caregiving has become his full-time job. And as Cory told us plainly, it’s the hardest job he’s ever had.
Unless he can briefly step onto a set between treatments to maintain the minimum hours needed to keep their health insurance active, Cory is home, managing their household, caring for their children, and supporting Heather through stage IV colon cancer. His days are filled with school drop-offs, medication management, emotional support, appointment coordination, recovery care, and being physically present when pain or side effects hit without warning.
The shift has been enormous.
Like many caregivers, Cory didn’t fully realize how much Heather carried until he had to take on everything himself. He jokes that during COVID and the Hollywood strikes, he thought he was “stepping up.” Now, he sees the full picture, and the weight of it can be overwhelming. Still, he is in awe of her: “She is my absolute — I will do anything for her.”
Cory takes Heather to every major appointment, surgery, and biweekly infusion at NYU, traveling from Middletown, New Jersey, to Manhattan. What used to be a manageable ferry ride for Heather is no longer possible after recent surgeries, and with winter here, it means more long drives into the city. Babysitters help when they can find them, but with reduced income and rising expenses, even that support adds pressure.
But when we asked Cory what has been the hardest and most unexpected part of caregiving, his answer cut straight to the heart: feeling completely helpless.
Cory is a disabled, combat-wounded veteran. He has survived Iraq. He lives with a traumatic brain injury and PTSD. And yet, nothing compares to watching the person you love suffer from something you cannot fix.
Heather has been his anchor, his calm, his medicine, his constant, before and after his injuries. “I wouldn’t be the man I am without her,” he shared. Now, being unable to protect her or save her is devastating. The experience feels like deployment all over again: constant reaction, endless uncertainty, and no real control over what comes next.
The emotional whiplash is relentless. One month, Cory and Heather were told a donor had been found and that a surgery—one that could have potentially cured her—was likely ahead. Just weeks later, everything changed. The cancer had spread. Immediate surgery was needed. The transplant was no longer an option. Immunosuppressants would have allowed the cancer to take over completely.
That kind of uncertainty makes planning—for work, for family, for life—nearly impossible.
And yet, through it all, Cory and Heather are focused on one thing: keeping life as stable as possible for their boys. They are navigating medical decisions, financial pressure, emotional exhaustion, and constant schedule changes—together.
We are deeply grateful to Cory and Heather for sharing their journey with us, and we are honored to support them through this chapter. Grants like these help ease the burden of travel to treatment, childcare needs, and the financial strain caused by reduced work, but just as importantly, they send a message to all caregivers:
You are seen.
You are doing enough.
You do not have to carry this alone.
To every husband, partner, father, and caregiver reading this—especially those who feel helpless, scared, or stretched beyond capacity—Cory’s story is for you. We stand with you.
Supporting Our Caregivers
A huge thank you to our generous sponsor, Round Room Gives, and to our amazing C&C community! You showed up in a big way, and because of you, we can continue supporting more families like the Candrilli family.
Learn more about how you can support the mission at cocktailsandcaregivers.org.
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