I’m your host, Amanda Three Olives!
I decided to name this blog, “Cocktails and Chemo” because sometimes you need one (or two) to get through the other.
Navigating cancer can lead you on a twisted road of unfamiliar and sometimes you just want a taste of normal. You want to feel like two 28 year olds who want to drink dirty martinis and just be newlyweds.
I haven’t figured out why I want to write this blog or really my purpose just yet.
It started out as an idea to give family and friend’s updates on my husband, then maybe a way to inspire other people going through cancer but I think it may ultimately be a place to get my feelings out in writing. A place to document the highs and lows of learning to be a wife while attempting to be a good caretaker and desperately trying NOT to mix the two.
My name is ThreeOlives and I’ll be your host. 🙂
Joe
This is my husband, we’ll call him Joe.
Joe was diagnosed with colon cancer September 16, 2011. Two days before his 28th birthday and two months before our wedding. (Maybe now you understand the need for a few cocktails!!!)
Joe and I have the classic love story. We met in college and I dated his roommate.
We re-connected years later when I was a working woman, single party girl and living on my own.
Joe had put on a little post college weight from late night drinking and Italian beef sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He showed up on my doorstep to stay with me for a ‘few days’, while training for a new career that was going to move him out of state and ‘make him rich’, so he told me.
A few days ended up being three weeks, oh and he had forgot to mention his cousin would be staying too.
I don’t really know how it happened but having them there in my apartment was the first time I’d realized how alone I was.
I came home from work to dinner made and they even cleaned my apartment. I later learned they could not believe how dirty I was and they were outraged that I had never ‘deep cleaned’ the place.
It was week two with my new roommates and it fell right over July 4th weekend. We did what any young 20-somethings would do and loaded up Gatorade bottles with whiskey and walked down to the park to watch the fireworks. The night ended with more whiskey than Gatorade, a near fire on my patio from an experiment with sparklers and an acoustic guitar session from Joe’s cousin whom I quickly grew to love.
There’s something about the smell of whiskey and sparklers that makes you feel all tingly inside and that was the night Joe kissed me.
You can say it was the beginning of the end and for the rest of their trip we couldn’t get enough of each other. Joe told me he’d make me his girlfriend if he wasn’t moving so far away and I didn’t have so many boyfriends.
We said our painful goodbye and I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. And probably cried some more.
It was the first time in my life, ‘I just knew’, like they say in the movies I really just knew I needed him.
It took a two week separation for me to buy an overpriced plane ticket and get to him quick. A few days of bliss and another painful goodbye. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle much more of this and Joe was a budding entrepreneur and had no time to be held back by a long distance relationship.
I stalked every job network I could find and FINALLY got a job that moved me to the same city. I also got rid of all my boyfriends. I still don’t know which one was more difficult.
From there it was more kissing, sparklers and whiskey. Life was this world of happy I didn’t know existed and the next year went on just like a hazy, entangled lover’s dream.
Puppy love and bloody marys.
Things happen for a reason. That’s one thing cancer has taught us. When you’re really open and vulnerable you’ll notice even more how connected the world around us is. Think of an old friend and suddenly you get a Facebook message from them. Think of a song and it comes on the radio.
Want a puppy and find one on the street.
We found our puppy Wrigley not long after my move. My mom thought I was nuts for taking on the additional responsibility and stress and one time after a tearful phone call because Wrigley chewed up my new shoes she suggested giving him away. I told her to give away her other grand-son if it was so easy and I quickly hung up on her.
The nice thing about me is I’m not dramatic, a very rational thinking young woman.
Wrigley has taught us everything we need to know about love, patience and working together as a couple. It was complicated figuring out how to train him and discipline him. Who was going to feed him and take him out. And were we going to kill each other in the process??
We made it through and he is Joe’s boy 99% of the time, until he’s sick. Then just like a child that doesn’t feel well, Wrigley wants his mommy.
When the nurses come over to hook Joe up with chemo, Wrigley knows it. He stands between Joe and the nurse and he gets this dark, sad look in his eyes. He knows daddy isn’t going to feel well and they won’t be running on the golf course for a few days.
Wrigley gets chemo too. He does nothing but sleep once dad is hooked up and he’s okay with it. He picks up on Joe’s feelings and just goes along with it. Holding his potty break until it’s easy for someone to get him outside. This dog saves Joe on down days and saves me from feeling lonely when Joe sleeps. We rescued him that day he was running along the busy road but really the little guy rescued us.
you have me hooked. so happy you and joe have each other 🙂