Never get comfortable and never make plans.
These are lessons Joe and I should have had tattooed on our foreheads by now. Maybe then when things go terrible it wouldn’t hurt so bad.
Home from Houston for exactly one week and we ended up in the ER Thursday night. Joe was running a fever of 103.5. He was violently shaking and we finally convinced him to let us take him to the hospital. After spending as long as he did there, you can understand his hesitation. It turns out Joe has an infection in his blood and a small infection brewing in his pelvis. His blood numbers were critically low and he’s been admitted back into the hospital here in Orlando.
There really is no other way to say it. We are TWO WEEKS away from baby’s due date and her daddy is locked up as doctors work to get him better.
The good news is it does sound like they can get him better. Give him a blood transfusion, get antibiotics going and get the man some sleep and we hope to get him home next week.
I am terrified of having this baby without him. I couldn’t imagine something worse right now. All night last night I carefully stepped one foot at a time out of bed trying to make sure my water won’t break. I’ve gone from ready for baby, to please baby a little more time. I try and remind myself of all the women who have husbands in Afghanistan or single mothers who have no choice but to buck up and do it on their own. My mom reminded me the beautiful thing is even if the birth doesn’t go like the movies, we still get the grand prize. We still get our little girl and we get to keep her.
Last night, I got the most thoughtful gift in the mail from an old co-worker. Haven’t seen here in 5 years but a few Facebook likes here and there on eachother’s pages. She wrote in her card a thank you to me.
She said, “Thank you for being an inspiration. I’m blown away by your great marriage and friendship. It encourages me to be a better partner for my husband.”
My mind quickly flashed back to the ‘F-you’ I threw at my husband just a few nights before as we bickered over money and I thought, ‘I’ve really got these people fooled’. It made me laugh pretty hard just thinking about it.
The truth is, we are just two young married people trying to figure it all out as we go along. We fight and disagree. We snap at each other as we find ourselves in the midst of some pretty stressful situations. We are trying to find the positive as we continue this climb. I’m trying to take a deep breath as I think we are finally on a straight path and boom, another mountain we must pass to get us home.
My Orlando baby shower is today and I’ve been looking so forward to it. It’s been re-scheduled three times as my girlfriend scrambles to go with the flow of our ever changing schedule. You can imagine my worry as I sent her the text yesterday we were back in the hospital. I had planned to cancel everything but Joe is making me go. It feels a little strange to get dolled up and open gifts while your husband is in the hospital.
Joe is stable though and when I left the hospital last night his numbers were going up. I’m going to talk to this baby about trying to wait for her daddy. And today, I’m going to curl my hair and open baby gifts. Cancer doesn’t get to take this.