When the pain returns or we are facing another hurdle, I don’t want the memory of what happened tonight to get buried. I don’t want to forget the beautiful moment when your dad looked up from his hospital bed and laid eyes on you. He loves you so much. You bring him so much joy, yet so much pain all wrapped up in this unexplainable emotion that comes with being your dad.
Joy because that’s what you are. Pain because he can’t stand the thought of missing a single second.
He told me not to tell you stories about how things got, how he got. He only wants you to know him before he got sick but the truth is you will never know him not sick.
I felt protective as I walked you into the hospital to see him tonight. Tucked into your sling and hanging on my hip, I worried about you seeing too much. The man slumped over his walker at the front entrance, did he scare you? Was I making a mistake walking you into a place like this? I want to protect your innocence, I want your life to be rainbows and butterflies. I don’t want you to know about sickness or feel sadness. Can I keep you somewhere safe?
I want you to know that you braved it and your presence on this earth gives everyone around you purpose. You are everything that is good.
Your dad tied to IVS, lifted you over his head to see you smile. You giggled uncontrollably as he smooched under your chin. All he could do was soak you in like he’s wanted to for weeks. He was finally feeling a little better, good enough to laugh with his little girl.
We had to smile as the doctor came in and explained test results and changes in meds. Your little voice trying to overpower the man in the white coat. You may have gotten your mothers gift of gab and you clearly had a few questions of your own.
Sweet Mira, no matter what happens, I want you to know your dad loves you, he fights for you, he tries for you. He never wanted this for you. You little girl are everything that is good and you learned from him.
Joe is not just a Super Hero to Mira he’s a Super Hero to us all. Move over Clark Kent, Joe Clark is our SUPERMAN.
beautiful, simply beautiful <3
So sweet, Amanda. Those thoughts and feelings and FEARS you are having now are so real, they are so valid. My heart hurts for your pain and what you are having to go through, what you both did not sign up for.
I do hope she gets to know him not sick. She might not ever while they are both together – in person – but I hope she hears the stories about how amazing he is after AND he was BEFORE sick. I believe she will cherish those stories just as much, if not more. For family members I never really got to know in those “before” ways, I still feel like I knew them because of the stories shared with me – and because they are part of me – they are my family. And I cherish them so much. I still like to believe she will somehow know that healthy, amazing man, even if just through stories – because she is his daughter. She will know. Sending you so much love and so many prayers.
Amanda and Joe I truly believe Mira will remember the laughs, the smiles, giggles, kisses, hugs, tickles and all the love Joe and you both have for her. I am praying Joe had millions and millions of more days with her and that they are good days. Cancer sucks, he gets tired, but in all of this one thing doesn’t change and that is the love that Joe had for both of you, and the love both of you have for him. These are the things and moments that we all cherish and remember. I wish all of you many more days of smiles, tickles, and love. Love Anne xo
Your strength will conquer all Amanda…love you and your family…JoeStrong!
Very well said. God bless you all
Amanda,
I just sent an email message and left an email address that was incorrect. It should be, as in the corrected message below, Bob@Bluechipsports,net. Here’s the message:
Amanda,
I don’t know if you are getting my messages or not. I’d like to talk with you about a follow-up that I got from Anthony Rizzo’s agent, He wishes Joe well and mentioned that the foundation sent a check to the Clark Family that was never cashed. Did you ever receive it?
Also, he informed me that the Family Reach Foundation which is an organization that the Rizzo Foundation partners with might provide you some additional assistance. The Family Reach Foundation provides assistance to families that are battling cancer and struggling financially. I have a few names at Family Reach that are awaiting someone to contact them. I know you have a million things on your plate and mind and I would be willing to follow-up if you want me to.
I will try Joe’s cell in case this doesn’t get to you, but that has been hit and miss. If you do get this message you can email me at Bob@Bluechipsports.net or call me at 847-373-0300. I am know longer residing in Florida, so this is the best number to reach me at.
We all have you in our thoughts and prayers and are still positively asking the Lord for a miracle. Please touch base with me.
Bob Suvada
847-373-0300