I was re-reading something written by Joe on his birthday last week and I just kept thinking about the value of a good day. How many days have passed by that were so precious? How many good times have I missed because I’m so worried about the bad ones to come?
I’m scared of what happens when things play out like the doctors say they will. I worry about our bedroom upstairs and living so far away from most of our family. I worry, then more guilt, then more fear and more worry.
I’m missing today. So, I re-read what Joe wrote again and again and closed my eyes and opened my heart. I don’t want to miss a good day or a bad day because he’s in it. I can’t let the worry wash over my view of this moment. All so much easier to say than really do but I’m going to try.
Be still. Be brave. Be here.
If you woke up today, appreciate it. Love harder than ever.
“I can say that I’ve had one of the strongest days that I’ve had in months, today! This cancer toys with you. Takes your mind, puts it in a blender and whips it around.
Some days I’ve felt like were my last, and other painful days I’ve even hoped they were.
But, today started a new beginning with a clean slate. This is what happens when you live hour by hour and day by day.
A great friend told me once, “all things are temporary”.
So, damnit I’m going to appreciate how good I felt today, set myself up to have another one tomorrow, and prepare myself better to handle those torturous ones.
The inspiration is not me, but it’s my story of support. YOU all make the inspiration.
When people mention my name when I have left this earth, I know it will be followed by, “and do you remember how titanic and impactful his support system was?”
Thank you all for being so inspirational to me.”