Ugh. I know it’s not the same but I lost my dad on June 12th. It broke my heart but my dad always told us that none of us are going to make it here out alive. Literally there is nothing I can do to change this: it is what it is. My daughter was now diagnosed with a tumor in her jaw and my son has type 1 diabeties. My husband also has an aeortic aneurysm. I wish 2017 would go away. I’m lucky enough to have my immediate family still here though. My heart breaks for you! You’re in my prayers
Such amazing sad hopeful words. No way I can feel your pain. But somehow I understand it. Praying your burden is lightened with the laughter and joy of your sweet daughter. Sending love to you both.
And the Good Witch says Amanda you have alway had the power. Now close your eyes and click your heels three times and feel Joes arms around you. He to is giving you the thumbs up.
Wow. Tears streming down my face. I have followed you since Jenny “Camacho” sent me your link about half way thru your 3 years with Joe. Never has anything made me realize how precious life is, each moment to be cherished. Thank you Amanda for voicing things that nobody dares say aloud, whether they have walked this journey or just lived life. You are enough, you are perfect, you are her very bestest friend and the one who can keep Joe alive in her mind.
There but for the grace of God go I…thank you for all you do.
I dont know how you do it . Eveyday I feel like Im just waiting to die so I can be with my Manny again. The heartache is so bad it feels as if I could actually die from it. It’s been 7 months now. Eveyday is worse then the fay before. I don’t know how to live anymore . I k ow I am failing my kids.
I thank you for bringing my thoughts and exact feelings to paper. I lost my Jeff 4 years ago… I’ve followed you since . … no one understands the true oain unless they’ve lived it. I loved my life… i wasnt ready for this change . And I certainly wasn’t prepared for the daily flip wishing him here and letting him go…. nothing good will ever feel as good without him telling me how great I am…. and everything bad will be worse because I don’t have his arms around me and words of comfort….he was my greatest fan … if we were apart… I’m sure others stomachs churned listening to him go on about my greatness…. I try to move past …. but some days I just cant…..ive had people tell yell at me for talking of him….. which I have curtailed because they don’t know the truth in my feelings. I wish you a wonderful life with someone who can love you enough to help heal your hurt…..
You truly are an amazing woman
Beautiful words Amanda. We don’t know where this life may take us, sometimes it’s fantastic trip & other times it’s a trip that rips us to our core. You have taken what others have not experienced and made something great out of it by helping others. Your beautiful soul shines through…your husband Joe is looking down saying “you go girl” and “you ARE my ENOUGH”! Continue to shine with BEAUTY & GRACE. Hugs to you & your little doll.
My heart broke for you then and continues to break for you now. Although my husband doesn’t have cancer, he does have chronic illness/injury that makes it impossible to know what each day will hold. It is different than a terminal illness but, I think, goes through similar steps. It is so difficult to see a man so full of life have little to live for. He is struggling. I am struggling. I have to work for the insurance and have to leave him alone. It kills me thinking one day I could come home and he will have given up and be gone. The work you do is amazing. You touch so many people. Myself included. Thank you for all you do.
Our previous profession brought us together and we became friends. I remember your infectious smile and your sunny personality. I also remember the love you and Joe shared and the happiness you felt when you learned your family was increasing by one. I remember seeing you go though the pain of Joe’s cancer while life continued inside of you. I remember your determination to fight for every second with him. There were highs and deep valleys. But you persevered. His life ended but he gave you a sweet daughter. You have been an inspiration to so many, helping others with their struggle even though yours is never far away. Joe is proud. He knows as many of us know, you are enough.
It will be a year at Thanksgiving that my dad passed away from colon cancer. My thoughts & prayers are with you, it will be rough!
Your gift with putting emotions into words is amazing. You are also a gift to your daughter as she is to you. With so many gifts, your future is sure to be blessed.
Yes, it is YOUR journey so don’t worry about what anyone else expects from you. Do it your way. We had just shy of 37 years. I can’t imagine only 3 and a baby besides. It’s not going to be easy but I know you WILL make it. Be glad that you have your precious little girl to keep you busy.
What does a former teacher of yours say to you? I am speechless. I am moved by you, your family, and your wisdom. You and yours are in my heart and prayers.—Mr. Walsh
I love your story, in all its sadness and pain. On our 13th wedding anniversary, my 37 year-old husband was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer with BRAF. We have 5 children. He is fighting still, four years later. Our children are now 13, 12, 10, 8, and 5 years old. The journey seems unbearable, but your story gives me hope. Thank you for sharing your experience. It has given me strength, knowing I’m not the only one, to fight another day.