If there’s one thing caregiver Allison Kossen has learned over the past two years, it’s this: life can flip upside down, sideways, and backward and somehow love still finds a way to hold it all together.

When Allison’s husband, Matt, was diagnosed with Stage IV colorectal cancer at just 45, the couple was already navigating stormy seas. Matt had lost vision in one eye after a devastating infection, disability claims were still in limbo, and the day-to-day demands of raising their four sons already filled their plate. Cancer didn’t ask permission before showing up but Allison stepped in with the grace and grit that feels familiar to so many caregivers.

“We were overwhelmed,” she says. “But somehow our marriage actually grew stronger. We take advantage of our time together now. We make memories.”

A Life Built Around Care—and Love

Allison’s schedule is the kind only caregivers will truly understand. She works nights as an RN – three 12-hour shifts a week, sometimes more at a second job – to keep bills paid. Days are spent getting their boys to school, prepping meals, managing appointments, tracking medical records, balancing the checkbook, coordinating flights, car rentals, and cross-country medical visits. Every other Monday is labs, chemo, and a long day at the clinic. Off-weeks are retina, glaucoma, ortho, endocrinology “and probably more I can’t even think of right now,” she adds with a laugh that only comes from living it.

She has become Matt’s nurse, driver, advocate, navigator, emotional anchor, and teammate. And like so many caregivers, she carries the invisible weight: the planning, the worrying, the mental gymnastics that never really shut off.

But she also carries hope.

“We pray together. Some days are just hard but we lift each other up.”

The Unexpected Gifts

Along the way, blessings have appeared in quiet, surprising ways: a friend-of-a-friend donating flight miles, a generous Turo owner helping with car rentals, and a Keeping Caregivers Close grant from us, the Cocktails & Caregivers Foundation, that arrived at the exact moment their budget was stretched too thin.

“A Godwink,” Allison calls it. “The grant came literally just in time. And that care package? When I opened it again last week, I felt seen. That’s… rare for caregivers.”

What Allison Wants Other Caregivers to Know

“It’s okay to hyperfocus on your loved one. It’s okay to be sad sometimes. It’s okay to ask for help. And please don’t neglect YOU.”

She doesn’t say it lightly. She’s living it.

Caregiving, she reminds us, is a full-time job. Even when you’re not the one physically sick, you carry the emotional, mental, and logistical load right alongside your loved one. And while it can feel lonely, isolating, or even invisible, you are not alone.

Not in the late-night worry sessions.
Not in the appointment shuffle.
Not in the moments where you feel strong, and the ones where you crumble.

Other caregivers —like Allison— are out there doing the same quiet, heroic work every day.

And if you need a reminder today:

You’re doing enough.
You’re allowed to rest.
And you deserve support just as much as the person you’re caring for.

Supporting Our Caregivers

Do you want to help caregivers like Allison, who remind us to always “Live Loud. Love Deep”?

Join our generous sponsor Round Room Gives and our monthly Martini Club Members, who with their giving help Cocktails & Caregivers fund grants to assist with selfless caregivers like the Kossen Family.

Learn more about how you can support the mission at cocktailsandcaregivers.org.