At Cocktails & Caregivers, we have the profound honor of meeting caregivers who show us—every single day—what courage, devotion, and honesty really look like. Today, we’re sharing the story of one of our grant recipients: a wife, mother, writer, and relentless advocate for her family, who has been navigating the unthinkable while still finding ways to live fully – Liza Wyles.
Liza’s caregiving journey began suddenly in August 2024, when her husband was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer. What started as a week of headaches turned into a middle-of-the-night emergency room visit, a CT scan revealing a brain mass, and a whirlwind of transfers, surgery, and life-altering news; all while they were out of state on vacation, far from home.
Twelve days after that ER visit, her husband finally came home following brain surgery. The diagnosis: a Grade IV malignant tumor. Treatment began immediately, which involved six weeks of daily radiation alongside oral chemotherapy, followed by a year-long maintenance chemo plan, constant blood draws, and bi-monthly brain scans. Life quickly became a cycle of appointments, medications, insurance claims, and medical bills.
All of this unfolded as their son started high school and their daughter entered her senior year, the latter came with navigating college applications without the campus tours her mom had planned to attend alongside her. Add in a recent job layoff, freelance work she had to step back from, and the financial strain of purchasing healthcare through the marketplace; the weight she carried was immense.
And yet, when we asked her what surprised her most about caregiving, her answer wasn’t only about hardship; it was about community.
She shared that at first, she felt completely alone. No one in her immediate circle was caring for a spouse with cancer. But once she found caregiver support groups and organizations that truly see caregivers, something shifted. She realized how many of us are out there—an entire, often invisible, cohort of humans doing this work every day. Her story is a powerful reminder that caregivers are whole people, too, and that non-medical support is not a luxury—it’s essential.
Caregiving has also reshaped how she sees life. Once careful and frugal, she now embraces a new philosophy: live now. With a prognosis that leaves little room for “someday,” she chooses the trip, the dessert, the moment. As a counselor once told her, “It’s one thing to be alive. It’s another thing to LIVE.” She wants her children to remember joy, togetherness, and family adventures, not just hospital visits and fear. Even when her husband struggles with anxiety and can’t always live in the moment, she does it for herself and for their kids.
One of the most powerful things she shared with us is what she wishes people understood about caregiving: sometimes, she doesn’t want to do it. And that truth comes with guilt and shame. She wants caregivers to know it’s okay to feel annoyed, overwhelmed, resentful—even while loving deeply. Caregivers didn’t choose this any more than their loved ones chose illness, and we all deserve space to acknowledge the full range of emotions that come with this role.
And her advice for someone just beginning this journey?
Being there is enough.
You don’t need all the answers. You don’t need to fix everything. Presence matters more than perfection. “I am with you.” “I hear you.” “I will help you.” Those words are powerful. The house doesn’t have to be clean. Dinner can be repetitive. You can be helpless and helpful at the same time, and that is valid.
We are so honored to stand beside caregivers like her. Her story is why Cocktails & Caregivers exists: to remind you that you are seen, supported, and not alone.
If you are a caregiver reading this, we hope her words land where you need them most today.
Learn more about how you can support caregivers at cocktailsandcaregivers.org.
