Mary Jane is 39. A stay-at-home mom. A homeschooler. The steady rhythm inside her home.

In November, everything changed. Mary Jane was diagnosed with breast cancer.

There was no transition plan. No extra childcare. No nearby help waiting in the wings. Just three little boys (5, 3 & 1 years old), a husband, and the sudden reality of surgeries, scans, and appointments. Her husband, Philip, stepped into a new role overnight, caregiver to his wife and stay-at-home father to the three boys, all while trying to keep freelance work afloat.

And the hardest part?

Childcare. Their babysitter charges $40 an hour. Every scan. Every consult. Every procedure. It adds up quickly. Because cancer doesn’t pause life. It just piles on top of it. Philip shared some honesty about all of it:

“My job is never done. It’s a 24/7 shift and you have to try and manage it one day at a time.” 

Stay-at-home motherhood already doesn’t come with PTO. Add cancer, and it becomes survival mode.

“Being a caretaker for a cancer patient and three young children can be a lot for one person. It’s what we call survival mode.”

Philip balances meals for the three boys and Mary Jane, managing his business, caring for his own arthritic back, logistics for doctor’s appointments, and navigating the emotional weight of the uncertainty surrounding cancer.

He described caregiving like this:

“You have to stretch yourself beyond what you thought you were capable of. You have to lean into your patience.” 

And yet, even here, there is resolve.

“Our love is stronger than anything. Cancer will never defeat us.”

Through the Our Tribe grant, Cocktails & Caregivers is helping cover childcare costs, easing the financial pressure, so Philip can be present at appointments and Mary Jane can focus on healing. 

Not extravagant support. Not excess. Just help where it matters most. Because when cancer enters a home with three little boys, the cost isn’t just medical.

It’s time. It’s energy. It’s emotional presence. And sometimes, it’s simply needing someone to watch the kids so you can go and fight cancer.

They are doing their best. And thanks to this community, they don’t have to do it completely alone. 

Supporting our caregivers

The Our Tribe program gives caregivers one less worry while they support and care for their loved ones during difficult times. A big thanks to our donors for supporting this program. Learn more about how you can support our mission at cocktailsandcaregivers.org.