Weddings are stressful. Everyone knows that.
I was always one moment away from turning into a bridezilla. How was I going to pay for this? Why did I decide to make everything myself? And I AM SO HUNGRY!!!
Cancer was a real wake up call. I mean were people really going to judge my centerpieces? And did anyone care that I was wearing $200 shoes. The answer is yes and no.
Our wedding was a true celebration of life and love.
Joe got the uncomfortable conversation out of the way at our rehearsal dinner and told everyone this weekend was about our wedding not about the “C”word. But some of it was inevitable. It was the first time most of his family and friends had seen him since he’d been diagnosed. There were a few tears and real fear in some people’s eyes.
Joe was thin for our wedding. Ugh, men they always have to do that to us brides who are starving themselves!!
But to be fair, I mean the dude had just had half of his colon cut out and gone through his first round of chemo! He had to have his pants altered before the wedding so they wouldn’t fall off. But overall, he looked hot. He was the most handsome man I’d ever laid eyes on.
I mean does this look like someone with cancer????
Joe made sure to remind everyone about who the real star was this weekend. The bride and not the cancer patient. So, get it straight people!!
From the first moment we started planning the wedding we wanted it to be a day that symbolized who we were as people. We didn’t want a church wedding. We wanted it to be an intimate love ceremony and that’s just what we got.
My uncle married us and every detail we did ourselves. Everything went on just as planned.
But cancer did change our first dance.
Originally, Joe was going to pick our song and surprise me on the dance floor the night of our wedding. But after spending two weeks in the hospital together we had a lot of time to talk about it.
Our song was a gift.
We were waiting in a tiny room of the hospital. We were waiting for Joe to go in for his colonoscopy to see what in the heck was blocking his colon up and causing him so much pain. We were both pretty nervous. It was at that moment I got a text from Joe’s cousin about a song she thought we’d like. I quickly bought it on Itunes and we listened to it together.
“God gave me you for the ups and downs. God gave me you for the days of doubt. And when I think I’ve lost my way, there are no words here left to say, it’s true. God gave me you.”- Blake Shelton.
Our eyes both filled with tears and we had found our song.
We listened to it dozens of times over the coming days. We both squeezed into the hospital bed together and played the music. It was all you could hear in our dark room playing from a cellphone.
You can bet we held on to each other when it was time to dance to our song knowing we were going to dance through all of life’s ups and downs— together.