Sure you say, “I DO” but do you really, really think about what you’re promising?
The recovery process of surgery has been the ultimate test of the vow. These have been the hardest weeks of our entire journey. There have been ups and downs, good days and bad. Doctors say the way Joe looks right now is the way most patients look in the first two weeks after surgery but it’s just starting to catch up with him. There have been fevers, infections and no-energy. I’m doing sponge baths, tube feedings and learning to change an ileostomy bag. It’s all new territory and been a little scary.
Sometimes I think that seeing someone you love struggling is worse then struggling yourself. It’s hard to know how to help him and I can see the mental side of the recovery weighing heavy on his heart and his spirits. If I could do anything I’d just fast forward through the next few weeks and he would feel better.
Doctors gave Joe 2 units of blood yesterday because his counts just weren’t replenishing the way they should. It was a little freaky to think of him getting someone else’s blood and Joe worried they were giving him cow’s blood. 🙂 They weren’t and we hope it will make him feel better soon.
The biggest healer has been Joe’s good friends Lenny and Dennis flying to Houston from Chicago to spend the weekend with him. Even though Joe still didn’t feel great, hearing him laugh and seeing him smile while they visited made it so worth it. I feel horrible because I completely forgot to take any pictures but it was a packed little hospital room with the guys and Dennis’ girlfriend and brother, Jeff. It was a new energy and meant so much to Joe that people would take the time and spend the money to make the trip.
Day 14 in the hospital. There’s a reason they tell you to plan for 21-30 because they’ve seen patients travel this road. Every small task takes time. Right now Joe is working on eating more calories. Just getting him to take down a cottage cheese and an apple sauce is a lot of work. All of the things, we take for granted are very difficult for him right now.
I have been hesitant to write an update because it can all seem like a downer. It’s just real. We knew this would be hard, but honestly I’m ready for things to ease up.
I will say this though– if you know someone having a hard time don’t wait to reach out. Joe sees it. He knows people are rooting for him and there is great power in what just one person can do. He may not have the energy to respond but you’ll never regret sending someone love.
My second thought for the day is, about the people you put in your life. Who will be there for you when things fall apart? Who would take care of you when you were in the hospital? If someone isn’t there for you today, why would they be there for you when all hell breaks loose? Choose wisely. Who will be there “in sickness and in health”? Hold on to the good people because they are what life is all about.
Be kind today, eat an apple sauce and think of Joe. 🙂