Sure you say, “I DO” but do you really, really think about what you’re promising?
The recovery process of surgery has been the ultimate test of the vow. These have been the hardest weeks of our entire journey. There have been ups and downs, good days and bad. Doctors say the way Joe looks right now is the way most patients look in the first two weeks after surgery but it’s just starting to catch up with him. There have been fevers, infections and no-energy. I’m doing sponge baths, tube feedings and learning to change an ileostomy bag. It’s all new territory and been a little scary.
Sometimes I think that seeing someone you love struggling is worse then struggling yourself. It’s hard to know how to help him and I can see the mental side of the recovery weighing heavy on his heart and his spirits. If I could do anything I’d just fast forward through the next few weeks and he would feel better.
Doctors gave Joe 2 units of blood yesterday because his counts just weren’t replenishing the way they should. It was a little freaky to think of him getting someone else’s blood and Joe worried they were giving him cow’s blood. š They weren’t and we hope it will make him feel better soon.
The biggest healer has been Joe’s good friends Lenny and Dennis flying to Houston from Chicago to spend the weekend with him. Even though Joe still didn’t feel great, hearing him laugh and seeing him smile while they visited made it so worth it. I feel horrible because I completely forgot to take any pictures but it was a packed little hospital room with the guys and Dennis’ girlfriend and brother, Jeff. It was a new energy and meant so much to Joe that people would take the time and spend the money to make the trip.
Day 14 in the hospital. There’s a reason they tell you to plan for 21-30 because they’ve seen patients travel this road. Every small task takes time. Right now Joe is working on eating more calories. Just getting him to take down a cottage cheese and an apple sauce is a lot of work. All of the things, we take for granted are very difficult for him right now.
I have been hesitant to write an update because it can all seem like a downer. It’s just real. We knew this would be hard, but honestly I’m ready for things to ease up.
I will say this though– if you know someone having a hard time don’t wait to reach out. Joe sees it. He knows people are rooting for him and there is great power in what just one person can do. He may not have the energy to respond but you’ll never regret sending someone love.
My second thought for the day is, about the people you put in your life. Who will be there for you when things fall apart? Who would take care of you when you were in the hospital? If someone isn’t there for you today, why would they be there for you when all hell breaks loose? Choose wisely. Who will be there “in sickness and in health”? Hold on to the good people because they are what life is all about.
Be kind today, eat an apple sauce and think of Joe. š 
I think of you daily and say a prayer. He definitely chose the right person to be there in sickness and in health. You have been through more in the short time you have been married than some people go through in a lifetime. Your strength and love are amazing! Sending positive thoughts and energy!
Avery and I just shared cottage cheese and apple sauce, and tonight I’ll toss down a toddy and toast you and Joe. When this all is a memory, I hope you can come to The Little Ranch with the Kuhlmen. It’s a real healing place where we can play with the babies and gaze out at the horses and dogs and yes, even the cows–who know in their hearts Joe doesn’t have anything against them personally–and relax and breathe in the good country air. Missing your wonderful faces. Hugs.
Oh God bless you and your family. I have Joe on my prayer list and prayer warriors praying for him and YOU> You are a wonderful strong wife. I send you and Joe a great BIG hug from Minnesota…cold Mn.
You two amaze me, what an awesome inspiration, many people would run or give up, but not you two. You show what true love and commitment are. I pray for you both daily, strength, love, progress and healing. I wish the road was easier and shorter, unfortunately it is not, just remember you have a lot of people who love both of you. Sending hugs, kisses and all good wishes
My oldest daughter got married this weekend so this hits home. She married her best friend and they are now “team Weesner”. I am a nurse and was able to take care of my husband through his struggles and if the only reason God lead me to be a nurse was to care for him it was all worth it. The Brewer family loves “team Joestrong” and pray for you daily and KNOW you will have better days soon!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Joe during his recovery.
Ecclesiastes 4
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
From Lincoln, Illinois I Love “Team Joestrong”, I keep you both and all your family in my prayers
Keep STRONG
I am a friend of Jason Palladino and that is how I came across your blog. I saw his posts about you and your husbands journey into the world of cancer. I just wanted to tell you that you are stronger than you think and so is your marriage! My husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer in January 2011, and just when we thought we were in the clear the symptoms worsened, and we found in July of 2011 that he had a brain tumor in his brain stem also- inoperable due to the placement. Time in the hospital, recovery at home, chemo treatments and radiation bring your relationship to places you never imagined it would go! You comment about it being so hard to watch the one you love being in pain/ suffering being worse than if you were in It yourself is so true. The mental stress is worse than the physical and seeing the man who used to be so strong be so weak is devastating! But I want to tell you that you seem to be handling it in the best way possible. We got through it with tears but a lot of laughter too. Others find us a bit weird, but we laugh at the mishaps and make jokes whenever possible. The friends who flew in are the ones to rely on. People’s true colors come through during a crisis like this but it sounds like you have a good support group. My husband is almost in the clear for the testicular cancer, and the brain tumor is at bay for the moment. We are still struggling with the fact he has cancer, and some days it seems surreal. He has returned to work full time and we live life to the fullest. With four kids we no longer sweat the small stuff, and we’ve stopped waiting to do things when the time is right….the time is now.
You are not alone on this journey. You and your family will be in our prayers and we hope for the best possible outcome. I look forward to the posts and await the good news! Hugs from a stranger on the same journey!