The decision I’m making now at 30 years old is the hardest and easiest decision I’ve ever made.
I’m walking away from my title as a news reporter to be with Joe and Mira.
For the last 8 years, my job has given me an identity. It’s the first thing strangers at a dinner party want to know about it.
“So you’re like on TV? Who finds your stories? Who writes what you say? Who does your make-up?”
They’re always shocked when I answer: “I do”.
I continue on to tell them about interviewing NBA stars and chasing down criminals as they’re hauled off to jail. I do my make-up in a hot live truck, and I’ve gotten pretty good at doing eyeliner in a moving car.
It’s why I love my job. I’ve let it define who I am for a very long time.
There is no doubt in my mind I’m making the best decision. It was getting too hard to be everywhere. A feeling I’m sure every working mother struggles with, yet mine was taken to a new level a couple of weeks ago.
I was two hours from home covering a motorcycle gang trial, sitting in court and I couldn’t stop crying. I just felt an overwhelming sense of being too far away from Joe on a day I knew he wasn’t feeling well. I called him on my lunch and he told me he was having trouble getting his legs to work. The pain made it nearly impossible for him to even walk to the bathroom.
It was then that I knew where I needed to be.
While I’m taking some time away from the TV lights, I’m going home to try and make things brighter.
Joe needs me. And truthfully, I need him. We need to spend the days he feels good, together. Now, if he wakes up on a Wednesday and feels okay, we can take our little family down to the beach. We can build a new energy in our home. I can take one thing off my plate and focus my time here.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m scared though. I’ve never not worked, and I’m afraid of falling into depression with my escape I’ve called my job. I’ve never really wanted to be a stay at home mom either. I knew when we had Mira, we would both work. So, while this will be new territory, I’m calling it our new adventure.
I know money will be tight, but we’ve been blessed to have the help of all of you and we’ve saved every penny. It’s the only way we can even begin to make this choice.
So my question is, does what you do define you?
For us, right now, the answer is yes. I’m going to let what we do define us. I’m going to take on my new title as, beach-goer, hand-holder and life lover.