I want you to imagine life on death row. You’re told you’re going to die and you basically wait for your name to be called.
This is how I imagine Joe feels every day since his diagnosis.
We waited nervously in the doctor’s office today to find out if Joe’s names is on that list.
Over the last two weeks, I’ve walked into our room and put my hand on his chest to make sure he’s breathing. His shallow breaths and sunken eyes have made me fear the worst.
He’s out of breath to get to the kitchen. None of his clothes fit. His arms tingle as they fall asleep even when in use.
The man is a warrior.
The doctor’s told us today the cancer is stable. This is far from what we expected. I had prepared myself for the very worst even letting my mind wander to the most morbid of places. But today, I was wrong.
The cancer is there and will always be there, according to the doctors. But at this very moment, this was very good news. The cancer has not spread. The cancer is stable.
Our doctor told us it’s the chemotherapy that has been causing so much pain. The treatment is making the scar tissue from the surgery swell. It’s then pushing up against nerves causing his back and side to surge with a sudden and lingering sharpness.
The doctor thinks that’s going to stop and he wants us to take one month off of chemotherapy. One whole month. 35 beautiful days of building Joe’s body back up. Get the weight back on. Maybe we can take walks? Maybe we can eat breakfast? Maybe we can get Mira to the park? So much possibility in one whole month of living.
I live with a warrior. I know he’s doing this for us. I know if it was just Joe he’d probably say it isn’t worth it. But he’s doing it for us.
I live with a warrior.
Prayers for you and your warrior. God has a reason for giving you this month……and I’m sure he will allow you to use every day to its fullest!
So glad you got good news today. I pray for your beautiful family daily.
Thank you God for good news….praying for all of you.
You are a warrior too.
Beautifully said!! I love when you blog! You guys are true inspiration to many people!!
Celebrate the victories ~ no matter how small
Praise The Lord!!!!!! I hope these 35 days are a step toward possibly another 35 days in the future! My dear you and Joe deserve a miracle! And I will pray for you to have one!!!!! I pray for the miracle of time!!!!!! I feel so unworthy of all I have and I wish I could give some of my health to Joe! YOU AMANDA are a warrior too!!! Stay strong warriors of hope and be brave!!!! Forge on!!!!! Love and hugs from INDY!!!!!
Prayers always!
I think this is very good news to get to have a 30 day reprieve from cancer treatments. I am praying for your little family. Enjoy your time off and hold each other close.
) Smile I love you all
Wow great news, Joe grow stronger each day, as we know you need to be joestrong, we are all wishing positive great thoughts. The three of you enjoy the moments together. What a blessed day today is, to know the cancer is stable. Stay positive xoxo
I am continually moved by the strength that is exuded through you and your family. I believe strength sometimes comes when you are in a valley and when you least would expect it. I don’t know you – my brother is friends with Joe so that is how I started following the Cocktails and chemo- I just wanted to say you both continually put things in perspective with your heartfelt and realistic yet truly poignant words. Praying for you and for each day you all spend together to be embraced, blessed, and a cocktail or two as well!
Amen!!!
Amanda and Joe,
You are both gifted writers and now that I found your blog, I’m addicted. Your insight and humor in spite of everything thrown your way, is inspiring. I feel like you are friends even though we will likely never meet. You have a way with words and I hope that you turn this into a book to inspire and touch others.
I count my lucky stars when I read your challenge that I have had the good fortune of having caught breast cancer twice at an early stage (just had surgery again last week) so not a big deal. My heart and prayers are with you. So happy to hear that the cancer is stable and that you can take a break from chemo and hopefully live in the moment for a bit with your precious Mira.
Stay in the light,
Deb
There are two warriors in your house. So glad to hear you got good news. I hope this month brings you lots of normal and lots of fun.
There are no words great enough to describe the unconditional love, respect, and willingness to do whatever is best that both of you have especially for each other and of course Mira! Both of you are amazing, together even stronger than than each by yourself! I am honored to be able to read your posts! I feel inspired and empowered every time! Thanks for all you write, all you do, and mostly who you are!
I have a love/hate relationship with your blog! I love it because you are so well written. That’s it. No more reasons! I hate hate hate it because I’ve been where you are right now and I’ve been everywhere you have been and everywhere this journey may lead you. My husband died of Colorectal Cancer on October 11, 2012 at a young 28 years old. I was a 26 year old widowed mother of our 4 1/2 year old and our 11 day old newborn. Every thought you have, I’ve had. I cry, no I sob, every entry you post because I’ve been there. I think about the 3 of you daily and wish none of you were going through this. This is a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.