Somewhere between a crawling baby and a very sick husband, lies a girl in search of something she fears is gone forever.

Her spirit has been shattered time and time again by bad news and fears of the future, yet she feels the weight on her shoulders to put the pieces back together for survival.

She knows she cannot carry her family without the help from a little something called hope.

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

So today our little family, with diaper bag and pain medicines in tow head out to find whatever is out there that can possibly give us answers, give us a plan, give us any fragment of faith.

We’ll be meeting with doctors to find out about some very promising clinical trials and to see what could make our days less difficult to bear.

Maybe it’s not a cure but even the faint lines of a new path give me butterflies in my stomach.

Maybe just having a plan to try and find a plan will restore us from the people cancer has turned us into. We’ve lost the belief anything will get better and without that we are struggling to know what the point even is anymore.

So, here we go. Our updates may be brief and lacking detail for the next few weeks as we search for something more and let our decisions rest privately on our hearts but I hope you’ll lift us up.

Pray for a good baby on an airplane. Pray for strength to carry suitcases. Pray for pain relief to make the trip and hassle-free rental cars. Pray the Chicago Bears win the home opener. Pray for more good days than bad. Pray for hope.