How could you ever prepare to have your heart broken? Why did I think if we had a plan, wrote about our feelings and shared our story I could control all of this?
I’m sitting at his bedside in the hospital as he hallucinates and over and over again forgets where he is.
Joe’s kidneys are failing and won’t be able to keep his body working for long.
He woke up from a haze and told me to climb into the hospital bed with him. There are moments of clarity and then he’s gone, lost in a dream about playing baseball or calling for our dog.
There’s so much we didn’t get done. A pile of birthday cards for Mira but Joe thought he had time to fill them out.
My video so he could tell me good night after he’s gone. We ran out of time.
We snapped a picture in his hospital bed. The last picture I’ll ever have with him.
I get in his face and ask if he knows where he is and who I am.
“Do you know me, Joe?”
“I know you’re the prettiest girl in the world,” he answered.
I’ll take it.
I’ll spare you the details of what will happen.
We have days. My heart feels like it’s splitting in two.
I’ll take care of you, Joe, I promised.
My prAyers are with you and your family. God bless
All in Gods plan and time. So sorry for your heartbreak. Pray his transition is a peaceful one. Praying for your strength
Praying for you!
My heart is broken, too. I have followed you from the very beginning. I wake up in the middle of the night and pray for Joe. Yesterday when you said Hospice has come in, I knew this love story was not going to end like we all wanted it to. I remember Joe said, “If love could save me, I’d live forever.” There are no words of comfort I can offer. Only love and to let you know there are so many of us with holes in our hearts this morning and tears streaming down our faces.
All of our setiments exactly at this latest news:( There are no words. Only prayers and love, knowing that so many of us care and are hurting for this beautiful family…. <3
God Bless you and your family..
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your families. God bless you all.
My heart goes out to you. Praying for you and your family.
God is with you… Allow him to be your strength, we are all feeling your heart ache at reading this, I barely know what to say anymore Amanda. Your family and friends and those of us that really only know you and family through this blog are praying that he gives you strength and comfort ….<3
My heart is breaking for you. You are forever in my prayers.
Praying…so sorry this is happening. Always in my thoughts and prayers
Praying for peace and comfort for you all !
There are no words to I could write that would give you comfort, but know I pray that you will some how find comfort and know how many people love you three and I will hold you all in my heart.
Praying for you Amanda.
My heart aches with you. I am so sorry.
Our prayers continue for your family. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. What a testament of your love for Joe you have and continue to show.
I am praying for you
Praying for the 3 of you and all your friends and loved ones…..and you have so many who love you.
Peace and comfort.
Hugs and prayers for you so that you can find peace in the days, weeks and years to come; prayers for Joe that his transition is peaceful and pain free
Praying for all of you as you are going through this. I have been following your blog for awhile – you always have the most amazing things to say during this difficult time and you have taught me so many lessons. I will continue to pray for you that you may find peace in the coming days. God bless.
Praying you and Mira find peace. Just keep breathing – one day (one minute) at a time.
My heart is breaking for your journey. You have been a true inspiration and I’m so proud of you. Please know you will have friends and family that will carry you and faith to sustain you. Peace be with you today.
I get the chills reading this and my eyes get filled with tears. My heart goes out to your family.. my thoughts and prayers are with you..
Constant prayers!! I am at a loss for words so I will just continue to pray!!! Xoxo
Prayers for Joe and his family. Strongest guy around #joestrong
I’m at a loss for words, other than you are an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing your intimate, heart wrenching, beautiful love story. God bless Joe, you & beautiful Mira.
Prayers and love to you and your family.
Joe is blessed to have you by his side.
It’s so hard for us to remember that we don’t control this wonderful thing we call life. God controls it all. We often wonder why when we shouldn’t ever question his beautiful plan. I don’t have the words. I don’t have the words to comfort you, cheer you up or even make the situation better. I can continue to pray. Pray with every ounce I can. My heart breaks and aches for you so I can’t even imagine. I want to hug you, I want to even cry with you… but for now, I’ll pray.
May you all be in peace. Good fight Joe.
Hey buddy I’m thinking about you…from what I hear things aren’t going well. I know it’s easy for me to say, but when your time comes to go home, don’t be scared. You’re leaving us and going home a Hero. The fate you face at a rapid rate is the ultimate fate of us all. Your prints have been left and your mark will forever be evident in our lives. The courage and spirit you attacked your cancer with is superhuman. The idea of never giving up even though the deck is stacked against you is almost impossible for the masses to fathom. The truly remarkable individuals in this world are the ones who never hesitated to venture down the dark lonely path of the unknown, yet you blazed that path like the true warrior you are. You are an absolute Hero and Role Model for us all. The love and joy you showered us with over the years will not be forgotten, they will be imbedded in our hearts forever. Joe the saying is cliche but it’s absolutely true…”Heros never Die”…you’re the definition of the word. Be easy Joseph, be at peace. Your fight is not over, fight until you’ve used every ounce of strength you have left…when you feel like you’ve reached that point, give one last smile because you’ve fought to the end. Warriors cry in the Dojo and Laugh on the battlefield. I love you Joey.
This is simply beautiful!
That was beautifully said.
Beautifully said! Yes, please remember us as you move on. Amanda, always prayers and live to you and Ms. Mira.
Wow… Well said. What an amazing inspiration you and Amanda have been.. You’ve touched so many lives, you can’t possibly know the extent of how many…praying as I have constantly since the beginning of this battle…
Very well said. Brought me to tears. Praying for the family
There is nothing to say <3 Love to all of you
I will pray for you now. I will pray for you in the day’s to come. I will pray for you all. To find strength in every moment.
May your family give you strength. Your love for Joe will last forever. I fell I know you both from just following your love story through your blog. Peace and never ending love be with you all.
I do not know you personally, but pray for strength for both you and Joe as you walk these last few days together. May God give you the strength needed to continue for your daughter knowing that Joe will always be at your side and watching over her! He will be her strongest guardian angel! God bless you and your family!
Your beautiful daughter might not have some of the ideas that you had planned but she does have a mother who loves her more than anything and the love and legacy of her father that will shine brightly all of her life. She is a lucky little girl.
I lost my Dad when I was 11 months old but there was never any doubt how much he loved my Mom and all 5 of his children.
Your daughter will have no doubt!
Prayers for your entire family and support system.
#joestrong
Amanda, the guys are on theirr way. Love you and hold each other tight. I love you Joe you are in my heart forever. Mom Williams
Gracious and merciful God, wrap your loving arms around this beautiful family. Lift them up high Lord and let them feel your presence. Let Joe and Amanda know how much they are loved. We ask you also Lord, to be with Joe’s nurses and caregivers, giving them strength and patience. Continue to guide Joe’s doctors. This precious life that you have created in Joe, poor out your abundance in Grace, Mercy, and Comfort, this day and always. We ask all of this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever. Amen
I can’t imagine your sorrow. My prayers are with you.
I am so sorry you and your family have to endure such pain and heartache. Many prayers are for you and your family. You two have a beautiful family and love story. You are a strong, courageous and beautiful woman you who will make it through this hard time. ❤️
Praying for you and your family ….for peace, comfort and strength. Sending love and hugs to you all!
I am so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.
Praying for strength, comfort, and peace of mind for you and your family. Sending hugs and love!
Cherish your seconds. Praying for you all.
Praying for y’all….thanks for sharing, even the things that you probably can’t believe you are typing. We all need these reminders and they could not be conveyed any better than your sharing your journey has accomplished.
My heart is breaking for you and with you. You are so strong to even be writing this right now. The love you and Joe have is something most people could only wish for. Nothing can ever take that away. Thinking of you, Joe and little Mira every day.
I don’t know you personally, but many of my friends know you and Joe. My heart breaks for you during this extremely difficult time. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Prayers of comfort and peace.
Prayer for your strength.
I can’t even begin to know how you feel right now – nor can I even begin to know what to say. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I care.
I know of you guys and your story and your family! My heart breaks for you! God Bless you and give you both PEACE!
Love surrounds you, Joe, and Mira. I wish you strength and peace, Amanda. I continue to pray for you every day. I wish your burden was lighter.
You are the ultimate example of love! You are in my thoughts daily and my prayers nightly. Your strength is beyond any Superman movie and your fight is greater than any WWF champion. You inspire us all but most importantly you have found a sort of love we can only dream of comprehending. I pray for your continued fight for life and the memories you will continue to make as a family. My heart is with you.
You are an inspiration to us all! Some one who takes the time on this incredibly long hard journey to write so other people who couldn`t possibly know how you feel can try to relate. I pray for you daily, I`m sure like many others. God bless your extended family more than he already has!
You dont know me but im david aters aunt. I am so very sorry u are going through this and im praying for you both. Your heart is breaking i know it is-and gosh my heart is breaking for you. Cancer is mean and unfair-i had it too.
I will pray for peace for you and him. And he sounds like the sweetest man and you were blessed to have each other.
Our gracious and loving God is waiting with a warm embrace for Joe. Praying you feel His comfort.
I am a stranger wishing you peace and strength to get through this time of letting go. Thank you so much for sharing your terrible and wonderful journey with Joe. You have helped all of us in ways you might never know. Please know that our good thoughts and prayers will continue for you, Mira and Joe in the days, weeks, months ahead.
Sending prayers, love and virtual ((HUGS)) your way.
Our prayers go out to you and the family..
Amanda, there is nothing I can say to ease your pain but I hope it helps you to know that many are praying for you and your family. God will answer our prayers and give you that perfect peace and He will hold you in his loving arms.
My heart breaks for you and the family. Xoxo
i only stumbled upon your blog a few months ago and i’m praying for you. You are stronger than you think.
Amanda, Joe, and Mira… I have never met you but we share a mutual friend and I started reading this candid blog months ago, and I am so sad to hear this news. I was hoping so much for you and your family that Joe would somehow miraculously recover. I am so sorry this is happening, your story is breaking my heart. Know that this blog has helped many people in different ways heal or to better understand a sickness that takes far too many lives. Sending prayers, sending love from across the country, and hoping that you, Joe, and Mira can find peace. <3
Joe my friend, you are an inspiration as well as you Amanda. God gives the special ones a purpose. Joe/Amanda your purpose is to show us all what true strength is. What it means to unconditionally love. Joe you give hope to so many who truely need it. my prayers are with. Love you bro.
It sucks. I’m sorry. I am going to insist to the powers to be that you have at least one more good day – however that looks to you.
OMG Amanda, I’m so so sorry. It’s just too much. I know it’s little consolation but I think you’re amazing. As always, praying for you, Joe and your sweet baby.
God’s grace, favor, and blessings over Joe and his family and friends.
Thoughts and prayers……
Adding you to my prayers. Time is so precious. Thank you for sharing your story. God Bless you & your sweetheart.
Amanda, I have been following your story for quite some time. The Scales family is part of my extended family. I am heartbroken for you. You have both been so courageous and brave. Your husbands legacy will be an incredible story to share with your daughter one day. Life is like a piece of string, some pieces are shorter than others and we never know why. It’s hard to say but we have to trust in God. Remember this: You never really leave a place that you love; part of it you take with; leaving a very special part of yourself behind. You both have touched so many lives. You are in my prayers!
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My heart goes out to you. It isn’t fair.
My family is praying for Joe’s comfort, for you Amanda, and for baby Mira. Your lives have touched ours as we have learned to appreciate each day whether amazing or impossibly tough to bear. I am so very sad for your family. You will continue to be in our prayers.
And you kept your promise. You are taking are of him til the very very end. As a widow and mother of two young children, my prayers go out to you. I hope that my Joe finds your Joe someday in heaven and they will look down on all of us, proudly. Enjoy every moment until the very end, that you can….
-Meg
This life is very temporary for all of us. Joe is not dying, he is going to heaven to be with the Lord for eternity. He will never experience death. Jesus did that for him, and Joe will be in perfect health with life everlasting, along with all believers, who have gone before him. Amanda, please rest assure that Joe’s presence will always be felt until that one day you see him again. Hold on to your faith. We are here on earth for such a short time, and we can’t even imagine what heaven will be like. It is beyond anything we could ever dream. Everyone is praying for you and your love ones. Peace be with you.
So very Happy you had the LOVE OF A LIFETIME, He is a Wonderful Husband and Father! You have Love and Precious Memories to help your broken Heart Heal somewhat…Give him a Kiss from all of us who admire both of you and your Love for each other and know we are Praying for you and your Family!
Amen to Gary Blackwell’s prayer above. You are loved, Amanda. Loved by so many, including strangers like me. As is Joe & Mira too. Thank you for your talent and courage in sharing these days with us.
“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His Godly ones. He does not lightly let them go.” Psalm 116:15
I’m praying for you….may God wrap you in his love, and give you strength and peace.
My thoughts and prayers are with you girl! I have been following your story from the beginning. I haven’t seen you in years but I miss you and wish there was something I could do!! I will continue to pray for you and your beautiful family!
Praying for your strength and God’s arms to embrace all three of you in His very special way. Trust Him. Be peaceful.
All my prayers are with you all. My heart goes out to you. What a love story you have with your family and it will always be true. It’s such a tribute to have the huge support system standing by all of you! Thinking of you all everyday! God bless!
[…] say the sky looks gray to me today is an understatement. When I get a moment to myself, I cry. This is […]
Lifting you both up in prayer. And will continue.
My aching heart 🙁 What a prolific writer you are, and how wonderful a keepsake your words will be.
My favorite quote: You think you have time.
I now know what that means.
Praying for you all
My heart is hurting for you and your family God bless you and praying for God’s comfort and peace during this difficult time.
Can you imagine his life without you, and all that it just wouldn’t be?
To spend his last years without your love and strength, without the new leaf on his tree?
Not to know the joy of unconditional love, the warmth of a new baby’s smile.
He may not have fought so incredibly hard, and traveled so many more miles.
I pray you’ll find strength in the gifts you gave him, that so many just don’t ever get,
And you’ll find joy in the time that together you had, and the pain will not cause you regret.
And through this sad time, your eloquent words inspired more than you’ll ever know,
You gave us a chance to reflect and give thanks, and allowed us to root for your Joe.
Thank you Amanda, and prayers to you and your beautiful Mira..God Bless
Thank you for sharing your love story with us. May the love you shared with each other, Mira, and all of us who are hurting in one way or another be returned a thousand fold to hold you up during your darkest hours.
Amanda, you have been brave and strong. Settle in to this stage. Memorize how his hand feels, and his lovely hair, and his beautiful face. Rub lotion on his feet. Whisper to him of secrets only the two of you know. Tell him that you will never love anyone like him, and that you will tell Mira over and over how wonderful he was and what a good Daddy he was. Tell him you will be okay and will never stop loving him. Tell him you will hold hold him in your heart forever. Give him permission to let go of the pain and move to a better world. You have been there for him as you promised. You have done him proud.
I have never met you before, but I have been following your blog for months. I recently lost someone to cancer, and I know how scary those last hours going in/out of lucidity can be. I am not religious, but I still find solace in knowing that my loved one that passed just 2 short months ago lives on in the lives of myself and her children, just like Joe has shaped the lives of you and your daughter and will continue to live on in you and all that you do. Surround yourself with love in these hard times and know that all this suffering has not been in vain – you through sharing your raw and real experiences have shown others that they are not alone in going through similar rough times. Thank you for that. My last words of advice – go easy on yourself. Take everything hour by hour, day by day. There is no “right” way to grieve. Do what feels right to you – take help when you need it, but don’t be afraid to take a few minutes of peace to yourself. Wishing you rest and peace of
mind.
Sending prayers of comfort and many hugs!! We have been praying for all of you daily and our hearts are heavy with you. May God give you strength and understanding! We don’t know why things happen in life but there is a plan:) Love you all!!
Thank you for your Love Story.
You are both an inspiration to more people than you know.
God Bless you and Mira – until you meet again!
I am so sad for you, Joe’s family, and Joe’s friends. I will ask the universe to help you through this and to help you all find peace.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I have been following you for quite some time as well. When I saw the title of the latest post my heart broke as well. God bless…
I wish I had words to bring comfort. Praying for you and your family.
Joe, we don’t quite know each other. We went to highschool together, have many of the same friends and during that time shared the same space among the same people. I remember you because you were always kind, always smiled and were always cheerful. I know that’s what everyone remembers about you too.
While you might not get to read this I know you’ll eventually know what I shared through a power above greater than us both. I knew you briefly maybe for seconds and in that time I saw that you are loved because love is what you gave. May peace be with you and always with those who love you.
God bless to you an your family
Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you. May your remaining days together be very special.
Praying for peace for Joe and you too. Wish I could take on some of the pain for you guys.
Heart wrenching. I pray God comforts you and carries you through these up coming days, weeks, months. You both have been so brave and so honest. Im so.sorry you and your love have had to go through this. Our time here is short, each day that passes is a day closer to being together again.
Amanda and Joe and little Mira…..I think everyone that has read your story and blog, whether they are family, friends or have never met you, are holding you in their arms and praying for you. You are truly amazing and are strong for each other. And clearly, the love shines in both of you and with Mira. I wish and pray for God’s grace to give you comfort. You are both such great people and Joe has the best head of hair in all of Orlando! ( I have had the great honor of cutting it, even the same day he got out of hospital! )
Love
Cindy Elzer
The Fisher family has not stopped thinking about your family. We are praying and will not stop. Your love and strength are huge. Keep it up Joe and Amanda. The world is proud of you.
Prayers for your entire family Joe & Amanda.
On my way to the adoration chapel today with you guys on my heart, Amanda. As always – you, Joe and Mira will be in my prayers.
God bless you. I have lived through this and while I don’t know you, my heart breaks. I am a friend of Lori Elsbury and she has posted this. Take care of yourself and stay strong
Sending love and prayers to you & your family.